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Satisfying the Black Man Sexually Made Simple By Rosie Milligan
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From the Publisher
This book addresses a difficult but pertinent subject matter that is long overdue. As an inner city practicing physician specializing in internal medicine, hypertension and kidney disease, each day I encounter the challenges of the sexuality of the Black male. As most people now know, Blacks in general, but Black males in particular, are affected by a higher incidence of many illnesses than are whites and generally with a greater severity. Many of these disease entities have a direct or indirect influence on a male's ability to carry out sexual function. Dr. Milligan astutely speaks to each of these issues in an easily readable, clear and understandable manner. She clearly presents material that outlines the physiologic mechanisms that are associated with the sexual act and physical responses of both sexes that lead to a satisfying relationship, but more important in a very sensitive and insightful way, she identifies and adds an expansion on what I think is the key area of relevance, that of the effect of psychology, socio-economic and health on the sexuality of the Black male.
In recent years, science and medicine have accepted the evidence as fact that there is a clear relationship between the psyche and physiologic function. This book effectively talks about how our history of Black male oppression may play an active role in Black male relationships with, not only Black and White women, but with other people in general - especially family. The author suggests that society has inculcated both the Black man and society in general, into the mythical belief that he, the Black man, is a sexual animal or stud. When this normal, healthy man finds that he is "only" human, not super human in bed, it only adds another failure to his already heavy burden of feelings of inadequacy resulting from social and economic insecurity. This results in difficult sexual relations which negatively impacts all of his relationships with women. Dr. Milligan speaks of a self-fulfilling prophecy that can create either dysfunction in sexuality or, at the very least, vastly unsatisfactory male-female relationships. A key section of this book deals with the effect of sexual ability of a number of diseases and their respective therapies. Most notably, the author speaks of how many Black men forego their anti-hypertensive medication for fear that their sexual ability will be decreased. Newer medications have overcome several of these problems which have previously resulted in impotence for many individuals. This book covers a broad area where there previously existed a gap of reliable information. Of importance is not only the scientific and literary validation provided, but the historical perspective maintained throughout. It is a must read for all health professionals and any person of any color involved with life. (Randall W. Maxey, M.D.) BACK COVER: In this sensational and provocative step-by-step book, Black men are having their say about what it is they need for sexual fulfillment. Black men tell what they want from their women "in and out of bed." The author reveals Black men's feelings toward: relationships, bonding, love, sex, and commitment. The author explains: the benefits of making love to men over forty, ways to enjoy good and safe telephone sex, how to help your main to gain premature ejaculation control. You will also find out how the Black man feels about: his penis size, foreplay, afterplay, oral sex, masturbation, premature ejaculation, erectile problems. This book tells how stereotypes and myths impact the Black man's sexuality. It provides a woman with many delicious recipes that will help to keep her Black man returning to her table for a great feast.
About the Author
Dr. Rosie Milligan is a registered nurse, business and health consultant, author and holds a Ph.D in Business Administration. The mother of three entrepreneurs, Dr. Milligan lectures nationally on economic empowerment, managing diversity in the work place and male/female relationships. A successful motivational speaker and trainer, Dr. Milligan has appeared on numerous television and radio shows including: Sally Jesse Raphael, People Are Talking, Maury Povich and Marilyn Kagan. She is also a regular guest on KJLH radio in Los Angeles. Dr. Milligan is the author of eight books.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
The Black man's sexuality is a subject that I have wanted to address for decades. However, I chose to address the Black woman's sexuality first, because most divorces and separations among Black families are initiated by the Black woman.
Based on my research, I have found that sexual chaos and bedroom turmoil are among the leading forces contributing to the high divorce rate in our society as a whole. Sex is not a cure, but it can soothe the pain. Sex has a profound effect on our lives and influences almost everything we do. It impacts how we rear our children, relate to the significant male in our lives, and how we interact with our colleagues in the work place. Therefore, I believe it is high time that we address it head on with honesty and open mindedness.
When married couples enter the divorce court for a divorce decree, the divorce is granted based on irreconcilable differences. It would be interesting to hear responses if the judges required couples to explain their irreconcilable differences. If sex was not a taboo subject, I would guarantee you that many would say, "I am sexually frustrated." This is best exemplified in an article written by Susan Jacoby in the December, 1991 issue of New Woman Magazine where a married woman shared her frustration as she states: I would feel angry and deprived but I would never admit it had anything to do with sex. Instead, I would explode at him about something totally unrelated. I hated myself and I had a kind of contempt for him because he had not figured out what I wanted without my telling him. Finally, when I couldn't stand it anymore, I told him the truth and he walked out on me.
The lack of understanding regarding the Black man's sexuality and factors that impact the Black man's sexuality are causing serious problems within the Black community. The community as a whole is being jeopardized because of "Sexuality Confusion." My objective for dealing with the subject of the Black man's sexuality is to give credence to the fact that a problem does exist. And to provide a catalyst for open dialogue in hopes that Blacks will develop a greater sensitivity towards each other and the walls that have destroyed the Black family structure can be torn down so that healing, restoration and unification of the Black race can take hold again.
The purpose of this book is not to cast blame nor to point fingers at the Black male nor female, but to show how the Eurocentric belief and value systems forced upon us have lead to this state of confusion and therefore separation. We must realize that the solution to our dilemma begins with understanding who we are as a people, how we got to this present state in the first place, and how we can work it out within ourselves by establishing our own value and belief systems and reclaiming our culture. We must realize that Blacks are unique and not Ebony European clones. The Black experience is different, therefore, our sexuality is different.
Knowing that sex is a dominating factor in our lives, that moving force that keeps us going, an obscure, paradoxical and biological necessity that dominates and impacts our lives in every way, I am compelled to research and address it wholeheartedly in hopes of bringing Black people out of darkness and confusion and into complete understanding and awareness of Black sexuality.
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